So, here’s the thing. I don’t want to rain on anyone’s rah-rah, but I think the root of the problem with bullying and telling kids that it gets better is that it really only gets better if you don’t ever want to get married and don’t want to serve in the military.
The problem isn’t the bullies. They’re the symptom of the problem which is systematic governmental oppression of gays via denial of rights.
No gays in the military equals “gays aren’t worthy to serve.”
No marriage rights equals “gays aren’t worthy to love.”
And this comes from the top, guys. It comes from our political leaders. It comes from the jackholes in charge. How do a few Youtube videos, no matter how moving, compete with that?
You want gay kids to feel less ashamed? Give them a world in which they can be whoever they want. They can marry whomever they want. Give them a world where the government isn’t the one telling them “you’re not okay.”
How you do this? Get involved. People wank about how little it means to retweet but you know what? It’s something. It’s action. Maybe you retweet a while, maybe you get mad. Maybe you start volunteering or giving money.
Even if all you ever do is post about it, someone sees it. Someone thinks about it. Sure, maybe it’s not changing John McCain’s mind, but maybe some of his constituents are watching. Maybe you make them think a little about it and maybe next time they go with the other guy.
The war is on the status quo and people? They don’t like to shake things up so much. Sometimes you have to shake them. Usually more than once.
I can only give you where I tend to get involved, which is the Courage Campaign and the Human Rights Campaign. They are not the only worthy organizations, just the ones I’m currently giving to. Even if you’re just on their mailing list to get their alerts for petitions, it’s something.
If you are already, <3 I’m not talking to you. Unless it lights a fire under you to do more. Then, you know, yay for that, too.
Anyway, what crawled up my butt tonight was the Senate Republicans demanding (blackmailing) us–we the people of the United states–to preserve the tax cuts for their campaign contributors rather than vote on DADT.
They don’t care that the military is fine with serving with gays. They don’t care that those Bush tax cuts weren’t funded to start with and add to the national debt more than the unemployment benefits they’re also holding hostage so people can’t pay their rent, let alone go shopping for Christmas (oh and don’t get me started on how this is going to hurt the economy–our economy is based on people spending money and spending it locally, how many people on unemployment do you jet off to Italy for a shopping spree?)
(oh and if you think giving money to rich people makes them invest more? Tell me and I will explain supply side economics to you and why it doesn’t work. It’s a nice theory, but we’ve been trying it for THIRTY YEARS and it hasn’t worked yet.)
So, yeah. I’m pretty peeved. I need a drink.
The HRC is nothing more than an arm of the Democratic Party. Name one thing the HRC has accomplished since its inception. You can’t because it hasn’t. You’d do better to give your money to the Make It Better Project.
The HRC aren’t policy makers if that’s what you’re trying to say. And like I said, I don’t want to ruin anyone’s personal rah rah but I think that rather than give kids bandaids to deal with localized bullying, we have to change the laws.
If the HRC has the ear of the Democratic party? Good. Because you know what? That’s who’s in charge. That’s the point.
Am I disappointed with the amount of change that I voted for? Sure, a little. But as Bill Maher said– I hate my phone company but I’m not going to break my phone and rub shit on my teeth.
I’m frustrated, yes. But I’m not throwing in the towel. That’s what they want me to do.
Just a quick thought on the It Gets Better project. I don’t believe that it’s a band-aid but rather an inspiration to those who feel alone and a way to feel connected to more than a single area. It also is an eye opener to those who might not have realized that so many people do care about this. Nothing changes overnight and politicians will be the same stupid power grabbers on both sides. The trick is to take whatever little steps we need to in order to make progress. And while kids need a world that shows them that being gay is okay, they also need reassurance right now that it will get better because of people like you and I will continue to push and strive for that world. That’s why the It Gets Better project is a good one. Kids honestly don’t know that it can and will get better. Kids believe that what is happening now is all that will ever be. So let’s continue to fight for that world and continue to help our kids see that we will…for them.
My thinking is, those kids are casualties of a culture that discriminates. That lawfully discriminates. Even removing those laws isn’t going to make it better for those individuals the next day. I get that, I truly do.
But.
It is costly to reach individual kids. And it’s giving them tools to deal with the oppression. I’m saying, let’s deal with the oppression. Let’s deal with the big, scary, nasty elephant in the room that is why these kids are in this place.
I think saying that politicians are stupid power grabbers is a cop out. We vote. They work for us. When we as a people came out and voted for Obama, we flexed some of those muscles. We have to get back to that so we can actually make it better not just on an individual basis, but to get the message from the top that discrimination is Not Okay.
But whatever you’re moved to do is a step in the right direction. I’m not trying to steal cash from Make It Better. This is just why *I* don’t put my money or time there.
You are absolutely right in that the reason our kids are having to deal with this is that our country and society does discriminate. And you should put your money where YOU feel it will do the most good. I’m just saying that each thing, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem, has a roll to play in changing our country/society.
As for politicians, I am not a fan of any of them for a variety of reasons. Yes, the people voted in Obama but so far, what has he done for any of the glbt folks that is a concrete change for the better? What have any of them done? I hear them talk, I hear the promises and then nothing. I find myself disillusioned by all of them at this point. But we can disagree on this and that’s fine. It’s what makes life interesting.
I guess I’m saying that I appreciate your working hard on the areas you are, for everyone. I just think that other areas are important too and that’s okay. Let’s agree that we will do what we can to improve things. 🙂
I understand your disillusionment and I’m certainly not going to say that politicians, for the most part, are lousy crooks. BUT. They are the HBIC and even if they’re just talking. Even though it’s exhausting, giving up shuts the issue down entirely.
It’s absolutely urgent that now is the time we pull it together. Not to make the democrats popular, but because the republicans say scary things like ‘adding an amendment to keep gays from getting married.’
An amendment.
Even though Obama (and Clinton before him) hasn’t gotten the job done completely, DADT was at least a start. Obama wants to see this through, but letting him get sandbagged in the elections because it Didn’t Happen Fast Enough isn’t going to help.
I’m not saying you don’t have a right to your irritation. I’m feeling it with you. This should’ve been dealt with years ago. But it hasn’t been. And now we’re on the precipice of making it happen and people are throwing in the towel.
And the sad thing is, the republican base? Those guys who are promised every year that abortion laws will be changed and don’t get it? They’re still voting. They’re still showing up and giving money. They’re not going to stop because of some setbacks.
So, that’s my pitch. I do appreciate that what you do is a movement in the right direction. It’s certainly not destructive and it helps people in need. If that’s the role you want to play, it’s up to you and thank you for it. It’s a lot more than most people do.
I don’t mind disagreement. It’s not even a big disagreement as we’re working for the same goal. I just plead for people not to give up on politics. It is a necessary evil.
Hmmm, I didn’t say I was giving up, simply that I don’t believe them anymore. I want concrete things, not more promises. Talking is good and I believe that drives us forward to do better but there comes a time when all the talking in the world isn’t enough. DADT is a good example. Obama says he backs it and yet he then gives it back to congress to deal with instead of exercising some of the very viable options he has.
For example, he could, at the very least, tell the military not to enforce the law. As the Commander in Chief, he has the option to do this and actually a number of laws on the books are “overlooked” and only used in the rarest of cases. And while he may have to have the administration’s attorneys defend DADT due to forcing the higher court to make a ruling, he could use his stop-loss power to prevent people from being discharged while they fight this out in the courts.
This is the type of concrete actions I’m talking about. Yes, we can’t give up and yes, we should do all we can in each role that we have chosen but if those in power wish me to get behind them and support them then I need more than just platitudes. I guess I’m a “show me” kind of gal.
But thank you for bringing all this up. You did make me think about it some more and that is always a good thing. I appreciate that we can disagree and yet fight for the same goal. In my mind, that’s what makes this country great, the people in it…all of us.