Today is truly a blessed day. After three episodes, I’m posting (see any connection there? no, probably not. I just had migraines and quit my job and didn’t feel like posting.)

But today, I feel good. Let’s do this bitch.

Su-zakana 2/8

Wow, so that was probably more than three but I was watching. Just, you know, not doing this part. The typing. I was thinking the same things, just not communicating it to anyone. Really, to get the best of what I’m saying, you need to talk to me. Maybe someday we can do a chatroom for us CST’ers or something. I like a chat room or Google hangout or something. That would be fun. For me. Maybe not for you.


Footprints in the snow. A hole. Fishing. Much metaphor. So sneaky. Master baiters. Yum.

From now on, Will is going to bring his own food to Hannibal’s, which is probably for the best, but you don’t know if that trout is sporting some human sauce. Or if you’re getting Alana’s special brew with Miriam marinade, so don’t look so smug, Mr. Graham. It’s people. It’s all people. specially that octopus.


I guess it’s a little early in the season for the Rains of Castamere to start playing after dinner. But Will does seem to be running a pretty good game at becoming <3friends<3.

So during this episode, there was much tweeting of #turducken. I saw no turkeys, but there was a horse with a c-section at the start who had the most peculiar looking foal. It was… a dead woman! Fully grown. That must’ve been a miserable pregnancy for that mare.

Apparently, though, she was dead when someone put her in the horse, so Team Sassy Science with their plus one of Hannibal who reasons that the horse was meant to be a chrysalis to rebirth the dead lady into a live lady again.

Then we get some teaser shots of what’s probably Mason Verger. Margot, his sister’s tears provide a tasty flavor to his martini. Apparently she attempted to have him killed for twisting her arm. Hannibal is giving her therapy, which includes asking her if she’s going to try to kill him again, which he thinks is good therapy. Certainly cheaper, probably, than seeing a shrink, but you’d have to wonder while you’re in the office if maybe this isn’t the best approach.

Hannibal and Alana have more sex, she wonders if the sex isn’t meant as a distraction to keep her from asking questions about Will. She is, of course, worried about Hannibal’s safety, which HAHAHA. But he points out to her that Will’s attempt on Hannibal’s life was most likely an attempt to protect Alana, but she’s more fixated on him “opening a door inside of himself” that thinks killing is okay. Oh, honey. Good thing he’s got a good therapist to help him with his homicidal urges!

Team Sassy Science has a name for the horse lady, pontificates on uteruses not being as safe a place as one may think, particularly for sharks and twins one must cannibalize to survive, I guess? Team Sassy Science may have some mommy issues. Or twin issues. Apparently Dr. Jimmy Price has a twin! So there’s a little something for later. Team Sassy Science doesn’t drop many hints about homelife so that may yet be relevant.

There’s soil packed into the lady’s throat and it’s all smoky and weird. And what? Hark! The dead lady has a heartbeat! Only… what? So Team Sassy Science has to peel back the layers of dermis, crack open the chest, open the heart and then… what? TURDUCKEN! YOU BASTARDS, THAT’S A FUCKING STARLING! HOW’D THE STARLING GET IN THERE?

I know Bryan Fuller said that Starling would be in the show. I wonder if that’s what he meant.

Looking very dapper, like he’s been shopping in the big boy section of HannibalMart, Will goes to the stables and metronomes himself into the stables with the masked horses. Walking through the steps of the killer, he puts the horse down, then brings in the dead woman and the starling to walk us through how the lady got into the mare guts. He’s not saying too much more than Hannibal did, only he seems to know that the killer knew the horse and the lady, knew about horses but maybe wasn’t a vet, etc. etc. kinda improbable, but it takes us to our next plot point.

I guess they asked around and someone knew a slightly demented guy who had many animals in cages living in the middle of nowhere. Will seems fascinated by someone more antisocial than he is, must relate to his condition. Apparently he was kicked in the head by the horse that Jack and Will saw when they arrived, which caused some of his behavior issues.

They tell him about the woman being dead and the bird they found and he asks if he bird is alive. Aha! He cares about birdy welfare. That’s pretty weird, right? I mean, who cares if birds are alive?

But Will figures out that the guy knows the animals, knew the victim, but he’s not convinced that the guy killed the woman. So now we’re looking at two events.

In therapy, Will talks through his theories and Hannibal asks how Will feels about consulting again. Will takes no prisoners confronting Hannibal about what was done to him in their previous sessions. This is smart, in that if he was playing coy with Hannibal, then what fun would that be for anyone? It reads as honest and Will says again, “Don’t lie to me.”

That didn’t work out so well the first time, but this time at least Will knows what Hannibal is capable of. I could watch scenes like this all day. It’s so tense and exciting.

Hannibal asks Will why he’s resumed his therapy. Will’s answer is simple: it’s not like he can go telling other therapists about what happened. Honestly, if they believed him about Hannibal, he’d just kill them. And if they don’t, how therapeutic is that? Simple. Practical. Very Will.

Will is asked if he fantasized about killing Hannibal. I mean, obviously. He sent someone to do it before. But all the way back to season one Hannibal has wanted Will to get all murdery. This is his end cole and he’s so close he can TASTE it. So to speak. To what end? Who knows? Does he want a partner in crime, or does he just enjoy playing with Will? Or is Will someone he could see as an equal? Or is he seriously just that interested in being <3friends<3?

I mean, I get it. A man in Hannibal’s position being 12 steps ahead of everyone ever probably has a hard time connecting with just any schmo. Even Alana, who is super smart isn’t trying very hard to think critically around Hannibal. How much respect and friendship can you have with someone you feel so very superior to?

Then again, Will was fooled for months, imprisoned, and…can they ever really be friends? Clearly not, from Will’s perspective. But what is motivating Hannibal to keep playing this game? Friends close, enemies closer? Does he think his “therapy” could have actually worked?

Anyway. Will would like to kill Hannibal with his hands, if he’s going to do it. Which he doesn’t, “Now that I finally find you interesting.” Which brings us back to episode one. The fruition of all that Hannibal has been working for.

Soil samples result in bringing the FBI to a mass grave site where many people were murdered like the initial victim, none of whom were so loved that they were enshrined in horse guts. So, probably the guy who moved the body knew about the other bodies, but does that make him a killer?


Will brings the starling to Peter, the Animal Whisperer who knows more than he says. They find a common language, sort of, in talking about the bird and shadow people that only he can see. A killer who was someone he considered a friend, who was doing bad shit and leaving it at your door and omg, did he have horns and did he get in your head and make you think you murdered people? Because Will knows that feel. Oh, how he knows.

The Animal Whisperer is like, “Uh, kind of?”

So Will apparently gets out of him that it’s his social worker. Alana Bloom interviews him and he seems, you know, like a sociopath. No real empathy for his client, kind of cranky that someone’s asking him about 16 dead bodies, like that’s not a tragedy that real live humans would be like, “I didn’t do anything, but how can I help you get to the bottom of this?”

You know Hannibal is just watching this guy like, “Ameteur. Your client is totally, super-frameable and you’re just being a rank douche.” He tries to cover, like, “Maybe he’s just resentful? Social work may not be the right job for him.”

Will just projects all over the situation and Hannibal stands there, amused.

When The Animal Whisperer gets home, all of his animals are out of the cages and gone! Except the cat. Who looks full. Hmm. Cat? Did you set free animals for yum times?

The man runs out to the stables where…his horsey is dead in a pool of blood around his head. Bryan Fuller assures us that this is only one horse death since this is the brown horse painted black, but it’s still sad.

Psychopath Social Worker shows up with the hammer where he explains the cover story he’s going to use for what all went down and how he’s going to frame The Animal Whisperer. PSW points out that the dead horse was the very one who kicked him in the head! TAW says he didn’t mean to, that he was just scared! It’s getting exciting! Someone is going to die!

Just as I was thinking, “Why didn’t empath Will know that this was going to happen?” Hannibal and Will are in a car driving out the TAW’s place. When they arrive, they find the empty cages. It’s quiet. Shit. They’re too late!

They get out to the stable and TAW is sewing PSW into the dead horse. I think that dead horse was a male, so no rebirth. Just much Taun Taun.

Best line. “Peter. Is your social worker in that horse?”

Feeling charitable, I guess, TAW said that he used to be very afraid of hurting a living thing but that PSW got him over that. So, that’s good. Therapy breakthrough! Kill your social worker.

Will can relate in a painful way and takes TAW off to talk about it I guess before notifying the proper authorities.

Hannibal looks at the mess and decides to play with a lamb. I mean, in his defense, he can’t really do much since it’s a crime scene and Team Sassy Science would be So. Pissed.

Will tells TAW that he envies him his hate, that it must’ve made it easier to kill the PSW… which is when we find out 1) that Will really doesn’t hate Hannibal enough to kill him and 2) that PSW isn’t dead.

Wait. What?

So apparently, horse rebirth works better when the human was never dead and PSW releases himself from his entrail cocoon all bloody and murderous.

Hannibal, looking a lot less surprised than one might think, says, “You may want to crawl back in there if you know what’s good for you.” Because he knows that Will is going to be behind him with his gun drawn and he knows that Will is feeling pretty homicidal and is just looking for someone to take his rage out on. And PSW is as good an avatar for Hannibal’s bad behavior as anyone.

Will closes in, announcing himself not as an officer, but as TAW’s friend. He’s so ready to kill him and Hannibal is surprisingly not on board. Well, not that surprising in that why waste a good murder on something that would be so obvious? He warns Will that it won’t be the same as killing him, that if he’s going to do it, he can’t do it for TAW but for himself.

Will is impassive, focused. He’s going to do it. His finger squeezes the trigger, but the hammer gets caught on Hannibal’s hand, stopping the gun from being shot. He seems pretty pleased that Will couldn’t be talked out of killing a suspect, seeming to take credit and almost going in for a kiss.


View the episode